I Killed the Suitcase to Save the Dress. Chronicles of 30, Halfway Through - E. J. Imende

Pet peeves: Not knowing.

A friend once told me that the silence was the worst. I disagreed. It was certainly the loneliness. That near sickening feeling that there would be no witness to your life. That no one would remember. That you would not leave a mark. So we stumbled on, taking detours we knew we should never have taken...stopping at rest stops for years. Recklessly taking our hands off the wheels...

If it were he and I alone in the world, I would marry him. It was always tough to push past the pain with only thin air as the defense.

Just debilitating...

I have tried to conjure up schedules to give my life meaning. I have planned brunches and trips with friends, shopping sprees on debit cards in anticipation of hot mama nights where we girls dressed up in our fantastic pieces with intentions of stepping out to confront the world. I have sent out e-vites and invites-rallied around a cause-then showed up with just the right colors accompanied by a perfect pin, broached in my unquestionable support.

...But there was always the end of that day.